Mr. West, Cottonwood's been a town here for a long time.
It was here before you came,
and it'll be here after you're gone.
Not that we don't appreciate your interest, Mr. West.
It's not my interest in Cottonwood that's important.
It's the Vipers' interest in Cottonwood that counts.
Well, now, they ain't bothered us so far, have they?
There have been 11 raids on Kansas towns.
Banks robbed, people murdered in the streets.
It ain't happened here in Cottonwood,
and it ain't likely to.
Not with me and my deputies running things.
What you're asking is
for me to practically deputize the whole town
for something that might not never happen.
Sheriff, these 11 towns are part of a pattern.
And your town is in that pattern.
You could be knocked off today.
Mr. West, you sure are a calamity-hollerer.
The next thing you'll tell me
is them Vipers could even be sneaking up on us
in that bank wagon over there.
Bank wagon?
That's funny.
That armored wagon wasn't due in here till 4:00.
Joe!
Whoa!
Hold it!
Now, drop those gun belts.
Driver, get down from there.
Drop that money.
Hyah!
Let's help get these wounded men to the doctor.
Come on. Hit him.
Come on. Let him have it.
Fight back there. Come on.
Come on. Hit him.
Break. Hey, come on.
Break 'em up, man. Break 'em up.
Come on. Hit him.
I am deeply and sincerely appreciative
that The St. Louis Journal
thinks enough of our little community
to send the famous Ned Buntline
to do a story on us.
Well, you're news, Mayor Beaumont.
Miss Conover and her three newspapers
throughout the state have seen to that.
I am so glad to hear you say that, Mr. Buntline.
But the people need to know-They should know
-that there's at least one elected official
who stands for clean, honest government.
Well, I think it's pretty obvious
to any thinking, honest citizen
why the town of Freedom is the only one of its size
that has never been hit by the Viper gang.
Well, look, that's all very flattering.
But as far as I'm concerned,
I consider myself the hired hand of the citizens.
And they have every right to expect
an honest day's work for an honest-
Let him have it.
Uh...I never forget a face.
I know yours.
I just can't quite place the name.
Now, don't tell me. It'll come to me, uh-
West, James West. Right? Government agent.
What makes the government so interested
in our little community, Mr. West?
Oh, Mr. West, this is our sheriff, Dave Cord.
Uh, Miss Conover.
And Mr. Buntline you've met already.
Of course.
And I'm Vance Beaumont.
Oh, you're the mayor of Freedom.
I've heard many things about you, mayor.
All good, I'm happy to say.
And I about you.
A while back, I asked a simple question.
It appears I missed your answer, Mr. West.
I didn't give you an answer, sheriff.
what's a government agent doing
out our way?
Well, you might say I'm viper hunting.
Vipers are pretty dangerous, they tell me.
Especially them two-legged kind.
Yeah. That's what I heard.
It's been a pleasure.
Let him have it! Come on!
Poor devil's no match for Klaxton.
No one ever is.
Oh, I wish...
Oh, come on, mayor.
You know better than to hold out on a reporter.
You wish what?
Well, I just wish the good citizens of Freedom
could find some other way of amusing themselves
besides watching this kind of roman spectacle.
Oh, that settles it.
I'm going to tell Moriarity to stop it. Excuse me.
Of course.
Isn't that ridiculous?
What?
Greatest of all tragedies,
I seem to have come off without any cigars.
Would you excuse me while I make a purchase?
Of course. Thank you.
Let me have a beer.
Did a little snooping.
Found out that brass key
belongs to one of the lockers back there.
Nice going. Well, thanks a lot.
The only problem is there's so many jokers there-
Uh.
-I couldn't take the time to find out which one.
Quite a fight, Artie.
He was really overmatched.
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
ladies and gentlemen,
it seems in the midst of the whole thing
the young lad decided to take off
to the land of Nod for 40 winks.
All right, now,
the standing offer of the establishment still holds.
$100 in gilt-edged coin of the realm
for any bucko who can go a full three rounds
with Master Klaxton here.
All right, come on. Step up.
Who'll be the first?
Well, now.
Now, please, please, ladies and gentlemen, please!
If you're going to wrangle and argue among yourselves
for the honor of squaring away with Master Klaxton here,
we'll just have to settle the matter by drawing straws.
All right, now, let's see here, um...
Well, there's a big bruiser of a lad.
How about you, tiger?
All right. Now, let's see, uh...
Ah, now there's a fine broth of a boy.
Two down and one to go.
Now...
Oh, how about you?
What do you say, my lad?
You look just right.
He's trying to sucker you into that ring.
You know that, don't you?
Bless his little heart.
Bless his little heart?
Well, you need some time to try that key out,
don't you?
I'll empty this hall, Artie.
You're on.
The chief doesn't want your playmate around
for a return bout.
You understand?
I'll murder him.
That's the ticket.
Just in case you have any trouble...
Come on, Jack. Get in there and get him.
Come on, Jack.
Come on.
Come on, let's go!
Come on! Hit him!
Foul!
Oh, that's as dirty a stunt as I've ever seen.
Come on. You gotta get up and fight.
Mayor Beaumont,
I demand you put a stop to that deplorable fight.
Do you now?
I begged you to stop it before,
but you wouldn't hear of it.
Now it would take the seventh cavalry
to separate those two.
Come on, West. Get up and wall him one.
Come on! Hit him!
Let him have it! Come on!
Stand aside, everyone. I'm calling on you to make way.
Mr. West, you're under arrest.
Is there any particular reason?
How's this for a starter?
Disturbing the peace,
fighting in a municipal area, endangering citizens' safety,
and inciting a riot.
What happened to littering, loitering, and singing off-key?
Cord!
There's no need
for this kind of rough stuff, sheriff.
Mr. West is no lawbreaker.
Yeah, well, municipal statutes four, 11, 12, and 18 says he is.
Seems I'm guilty of all of them, mayor.
Well, I suppose technically you are.
But sheriff, this whole thing
grew out of a prizefight
between Mr. West and Klaxton.
Now, you just hold on, Mr. Mayor.
I'm recalling a day a year back
when you came to me and asked me to pin on this star
and clean up a town that had done a real outstanding job
of attracting every high-stepping, fancy-baggage,
greasy card artist
and bushwhacker-for-hire in the state.
At the time you told me I'd never have to hold my fire.
You changing the ground rules at this late date?
Crusading mayor and fearless straight-shooting sheriff.
Prime ingredients of the recipe
Freedom has served up to an admiring world.
What?
How's that for a lead-in to my story?
Uh, you met Mr. Buntline,
famous writer from The St. Louis Journal.
Here to do a series of articles on Freedom.
Freedom:
a town that's leaped into national prominence
because of its honesty with an absolute bang!
Stacey, get the other deputies!
Hey, which way's the fight?
Fight? That way.
Come on! Hyah!
That- That sheriff of yours
is really something of a sketch, isn't he?
You think so? Yeah.
Mr. Buntline, you know the mythological stables
that Hercules cleaned up?
Ah, the, uh, Augean stables, wasn't it?
Well, that's what Freedom was
before Dave Cord rolled up his sleeves.
It was a cesspool where anything could happen.
Anything violent, illegal, murderous.
And if you're still taking notes,
you can take this quote from me.
Dave Cord cleaned up the mess
and only Dave Cord could have done it.
There's no one I'd rather have at my side
when there's an important job to be done.
Like, for instance,
when you're running the entire state of Kansas.
What?
Mr. Buntline, as you know,
I inherited three newspapers.
And I work at the business of running them.
Oh, we at The Journal know them well, Miss Conover.
May I say know them and read them with much pleasure.
That's probably not true, but thank you just the same.
Anyway, the people in this state do read them,
and they're influenced by them.
And as of today,
all three papers are coming out,
urging that Vance Beaumont become our next governor.
Oh.
Now listen to me.
We don't want to see Mr. West
around here ever again.
You understand?
Now I just got word from the chief himself.
The gist of the conversation was
that when the civic-minded posse comes upon Mr. West,
he'll put up a fierce resistance,
which will result in the poor lad expiring
in a hail of bullets.
You got it?
Now get going.
Oh.
Well, it's you, is it?
Jack, the giant killer, himself.
Well, uh, come in, Mr. West.
Come in.
Thank you, Mr. Moriarity. That's very kind of you.
How'd you know my name was West?
How- How did I know your name was West?
Well, um-
I must have heard someone say it.
The chief maybe?
Chief?
And, uh, who might that be?
I don't know, but you're gonna tell me.
Ah! Your money.
Of course, you came for your hard-earned money.
Sure.
The way you laced into Klaxton
is something I'll be telling the boys around here
for many a long winter evening.
Allow me.
Uh, look, Mr. West, you got $100 coming, right?
Now, no one ever said Moriarity welshed on a business deal.
I'll go get it.
Better save your money.
You're gonna need it to buy things
when you get to prison.
Prison, you say? Now, wait, I-
I forgot to tell you.
You're under arrest for being the Viper's bookkeeper.
Now, listen, Mr. West,
I was never mixed up in that rough stuff.
Honest, I wasn't. You want a break?
Yeah. I mean, I-
Prison's not for me, you know.
I'm not that young anymore.
Oh, I'll give you a break.
Just tell me who the chief is.
Now, drop that gun and come down here real slow.
Let's go.
Well, hello, James. How you been?
Fine.
There's been a lot of talk around you in town.
You've become quite a celebrity.
Oh, really? Uh-huh.
Just what have they been saying about me?
Well, you know, the usual small talk.
You're a murderer.
Moriarity.
Yeah.
They're saying that you did it
because he refused to give you the prizefight money
and that you've been on the run ever since.
Well, whoever did do it
did it because he was the bookkeeper of the Vipers.
Maybe he was a lot more.
Yeah, I get the feeling that we're getting warmer too.
Although I certainly didn't find out enough
back there in that dressing room to pin any hopes on.
I did find out that the key fit locker number 36.
When I checked that, it was empty...
except for this.
I started to check this out when I was interrupted.
Interesting design.
What are you dressed for?
Oh, I'm having dinner with
his nibs the mayor and the fair Nadine.
I figure on leaving early, though,
and I'll go back and have another whack at the gym.
Artie, why don't you cover that?
Let me cover the gym.
Now, look, the woods are alive out there
with sheriff and deputy-types all gunning for you.
Artie.
Lovely dinner, wasn't it?
And I can't understand it.
Why, he seemed like a thoroughly decent young man.
But then to go and brutally murder
a harmless character like Moriarity.
Maybe he wasn't so harmless.
What?
Or maybe this young man, uh- West?
didn't murder him.
No. No, I'm afraid there's no doubt about that.
Sheriff Cord has two witnesses
who heard the two of them quarreling.
And later saw West running from the scene.
Now what worries me is that matters may get out of hand.
There's always someone
who starts agitating for mob action.
After you're governor,
you'll be able to do something about it
instead of just worrying.
We're back to that, are we?
No, Nadine, as I will keep on telling you,
I have a contract
with the people of Freedom who elected me.
What a delightfully charming young woman.
Uh, excuse me.
Nadine, please, if you're determined
that I run for the office of governor,
let's all discuss it in the next room.
That's wonderful.
Come along, everybody!
Uh-huh.
Oh, Mr. Buntline,
well, you may be the winner at billiards,
but the people of the state of Kansas
are the real winners.
My friends, I give you our next governor.
Oh, please, Nadine.
Well, if that's so, I can assure you
that my column in The Journal
is going to make much to-do about it.
The indomitable Vance Beaumont,
Freedom's embattled mayor
who has stood unflinching before battering waves of crime,
corruption, and violence,
today has finally succumbed
to a force far more powerful:
the voice of the people.
I wish I could reprint that.
My dear lady, it's yours.
Oh, Mr. Buntline.
Well, ahem, there's only one way I can recover from that
and that's with a little bit of my host's excellent brandy.
Allow me, sir.
No, no, no, please.
That's a chore I would enjoy thoroughly myself.
Thank you...
governor.
Uh, but Mr. Buntline...
Mr. Beaumont, you can't go now.
It's your turn.
All right, all right.
Settle down and listen.
This time we're gonna add something special
to the operation,
and I don't want any slip-ups.
You get it?
You get it?! Right.
All right.
Now...
Kimble. Yes, sir?
What time did I say we're gonna hit the bank?
11:30 tomorrow.
Very good.
Now, just to make sure there's no interference with our work,
we're gonna create ourselves a little diversion.
Colter, Lutz, now, you two are gonna be riding point
with the wagon.
When you pass that schoolhouse, you drop back,
you wait a minute, and then you blow it up.
The schoolhouse?!
Yeah, the schoolhouse.
Now, Varney, Yeah.
Slade, Yeah.
when you pass that barbershop,
you start blasting away at anything that stirs.
Okay.
Okay. And Kimble,
when that wagon's opposite the restaurant,
you make sure that cannon's primed, loaded,
and ready to blast.
Well, well, well.
It's Mr. West himself.
Oh, don't mind me. Go ahead with your meeting, sheriff.
You're under arrest all over again.
Now, you know, the folks around here
thought a heap of Old Man Moriarity.
I'd hate to be in your boots
when this case comes up for trial.
You mean there's going to be a trial?
It is Freedom, Mr. West.
We do things right and proper here.
All right, get a box.
It's only fitting we give Mr. West a real send-off.
Artie, what do we know?
We know that the Vipers
are going to blast a bank tomorrow.
Yeah, location unknown.
And we also know
that Cord has his assault wagon booby-trapped
to go sky-high anytime he wants it to.
It has all the smell of good logic
that Beaumont is the big chief of the Vipers
because I saw the blueprint for that booby-trapped wagon
right in his own sideboard.
Now...
tell me about that briefing session again, will you?
Cord said that blasting the schoolhouse
would be a diversion.
Check.
And that they were to blast the barber shop,
Mm-hm. the restaurant...
Artie.
Directly across from the restaurant...
is the Freedom bank.
Now I know why Beaumont wants to blow up his own wagon.
Because he wants to be the governor.
Right. He lacks only one ingredient.
He's got all the money he needs,
built up a big, political war chest
with all of the banks that his gang has knocked off.
He's got Miss Conover's newspapers squarely behind him.
The only problem is he's still unknown.
So if Beaumont knocks off the Vipers
when they make the mistake of attacking Freedom...
He winds up a hero, gets rid of a gang
that will be embarrassing to him anyway.
Then he winds up squarely in the governor's chair for sure.
Thank you very much for your cooperation.
Just go home and stay there.
The bank will be open very shortly.
Thank you. Thank you.
Hi, Jim. Hi, Artie.
I don't understand any of this, Mr. Buntline.
What is this all about?
Miss Conover, I know I promised you
a story you'd never forget.
I'm sorry I couldn't give you any details,
but unfortunately, we had to get here
before the Vipers.
The Vipers? Yes.
You're not Ned Buntline, are you?
No, I'm not. I'm Artemus Gordon, United States Secret Service.
Vance Beaumont?
He's the head of the Viper gang.
Don't listen to them, Nadine. They're insane.
No, we're not. We're just in a hurry.
Everything set, Jim? Yeah.
See you later.
What's the meaning of this, Mr. West?
In simple terms, this bank is going to be blown up.
He's gonna become the governor.
That's about the size of it, isn't it?
He's mad. Run for help.
I demand that you unlock this door immediately.
Miss Conover, you should listen to a few simple facts.
You think you're responsible
for pushing him up the political ladder?
Unlock this door.
My compliments.
Only I want you to know he has only been using you.
Using me?
Vance Beaumont never dreamed of running for governor
until I talked him into it.
Correction. He's been running for governor for years.
If he hadn't charmed you into publicizing his campaign,
he would have found someone else.
That is the truth, isn't it, Beaumont?
There isn't a word of truth in that.
Why are you watching the clock, Beaumont?
Is it because you know an assault wagon's
driving down this road
and going to blow this bank sky-high at 11:30?
You're talking in childish riddles.
Just about 11:30.
That assault wagon
should be on its way any moment now.
That's outrageous.
Leave him alone, Mr. West.
Can't you see he's telling the truth?
If he's lying, a lot of innocent children
are going to die in a few moments.
That was the schoolhouse.
Here comes the assault wagon.
No, false alarm. Just a delivery wagon.
Please let me go.
It'll be here in a minute.
Please.
But he said it was just a delivery wagon.
This is it.
This is the assault wagon.
We have to get out now before they open fire on us!
Get out of here.
West, what about me?
What about you?
What am I gonna do?!
West!
Hold it!
You men are under arrest.
I've been sitting up here watching it all, West!
You just put my last two deputies away!
What do you want to bet I can plug you
before you can do anything about it?
Mr. West.